Interview on The Untitled
AN INTERVIEW WITH MIKE ABOUT THIS SCULPTURE:
What do you see when you look at this sculpture?
MIKE: I feel weird putting this into words, that’s why I sculpt –so I don’t have to say words. But, for other people’s sake, I guess people are curious…I’ll say I’m trying to be as honest with myself as I can, as I’m looking at it right now. My description may not sound as interesting as I hope it might, but it was actually something that literally happened, which is where most of the sculptures/ideas come from–moments that have happened in my life. I was kinda in bad shape at the time and I was literally on the floor on Christmas Eve and I couldn’t get up …and it happens from intense moments I guess, it’s hard to say exactly. As bad as intense as a moment can get for me-I couldn’t get up and I was fighting back, you know…breaking. I was fighting back at THAT moment ( I remember these moments crystal clear, I CAN”T forget them), I was fighting back, breaking down. It was just a long, long, long night, and it was one of those nights that seem like they never end; or calling out to J or whoever was there, and nobody heard me, so it was when I kinda figured I was screwed and had to just suck it up somehow and figure out what exactly where I was gonna go from this point, being stuck on the floor. I was pissed off. I was hurting more than my words could say, I guess. I just couldn’t do what I wanted to do or used ot be able to do and it kind of smacks you in the face when you are not able to do things that should be so easy. Thinking about these details, I’m getting a little sad (he laughs), I can picture that night perfectly clear. I don’t know if this is against the whole sculpture but the truth is I really didn’t get up….I crawled. I never really did make it up that night, I crawled because -this is something as simple as me trying to get a glass of water so I could take the pills I had to take at this time. It was something as simple as having to get to a cup and then to a faucet. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, I may as well have been climbing Mount Everest, ya know? It took a long time, it was hard–I’m trying to just clarify for others that don’t know here. It was a glass of water. I was putting my heart and soul in to get to a damn cup–I mean my wrists hurt, my ankles my knees-everything for this damn cup! And just the fact that something so simple was such a ridiculous challenge–that alone kicked my ass and kept me down on the ground, and it was so humbling. It really is–that’s the only word I can think of that can do a little bit of justice to the way I felt. I wanted to give up. I probably did within ten times in those two hours to get a glass of water, you know that’s gonna humble anybody I suppose.
As far as the sculpture goes it’s not something I was really even thinking about at this moment when this shit was happening but the days later, when I felt a little better, then all the sudden BOOM! like a kick to the head it just bam pops into your head, in that moment, when you’re laying there it just flashes and that’s it and that’s how it happens for me. And it’s to whoever this may happen, I watch what others go through,too, it’s just a lot of times it happens to be me–I’m not trying to dwell on myself and whine on my sculptures, I guess I just find myself in these situations and that’s just the way it is. When I look at it, I feel sad. It puts me right back there, in one of those hundreds and hundreds of moments and that was just one that stuck out and I decided to make it. I don’t like to think about it or know that I was there. I don’t think a lot of people do know what it’s like and that’s the part that you want them to understand.
What goes through your head when other people look at this sculpture and compliment you?
MIKE: The first part of me–I hope they like it a little bit, maybe that sounds kinda bad, I mean I hope they see in it when they look at it at least a little bit what I felt when I made it–that’s the main thing you just wish that they could see what I felt when I made it, if nothing else the sculpture itself doesn’t haze or blur their vision–I just want them to see what I felt when I made it–that I made it well enough that they can get at least just a little bit of that. That’s why I am sculpting. I hope they see it for what I made it for, otherwise it’s like ugh, dammit. When you get an idea, you’re not gonna go forth and make it for any other reason than because you have to, and you feel like you have to because there’s no other way to say it. For me, at least. If I could write or sing I would do those but this is my way apparently. At first I thought I just liked to do it but the more you think about it I suppose its because I want to be heard and I guess this is my “medium” and I hate that word I don’t wanna sound like an artsy douche but that’s it. It’s a matter of making people hear what you do. Every time I make one I guess I’m trying to make people feel the same way I did, even just for a little second. That split second in their mind–they might not even know, but they do, and that’s what its all for–for them to feel something for even just a fraction of a second. YOU WANT THEM TO FEEL HOW YOU DO, NOT JUST BAD WAYS AND WHATEVER BUT THE DEEPER DOWN KICK ASS THING ABOUT IT WHICH IS HARD TO DO THROUGH A SCULPTURE BUT JUST MAYBE, MAYBE THEY’LL FEEL IT. The ultimate goal is to make people understand. It’s messed up.
…to be continued…